reminiscing.

So today I decided to pull out my huge cd case full of 100's of cds I have collected over the past 13ish years. I chose to pull out one of my Chirho cds. Wow did that ever take me back! Haha. I remember them coming to sing for the youth group at Calvary one Sunday morning and I was in love. For those of you that don't know, I'm a sucker for boys in a band or that can sing and are musically inclined. It's on the list of must haves for my future husband. Anyways so back to the topic. I was listening to the amazing sounds of the a capella group that I became a huge fan of my last two years of high school. I remember going to their Big Concert the spring of my junior year and deciding there were two potential future husbands in the group. Funny how I pick out my future "husbands"...for I have quite a few. It's good to have a plentiful group to pick from! haha. Well I can't even remember their names today. But they were cute and they could sing and they loved Jesus...what more could I ask for? Yeah. Wow. Sometimes it's nice to have little things take you back to the past where things seemed simpler and easier. That was just one of those funny things that I did in high school. I have another Chirhoish moment when I decided to blast the cd in my car as loud as I could when I saw one of the Chirho members outside of the old Coldstone. He came running down as I was sitting at the stoplight waving at me and smiling...and me waving back and being like yeah I know you...not really, but we all feel connected to bands through their music and when we go to their concerts. It's like we know them when we don't really know them. I like to have that sense of "camaraderie" with band members and pretend like we're bffs or something like that. I like the connection. Especially eye contact connection, but that's another story fast forwarding to my senior year of college. Oh deary me. I can be a silly girl. But I do love me some Chirho. I really want to be in a band or a singing group. Or my newest thing I want to attempt is being in a musical. West Side Civic Theater group is a local group that I could potentially become involved in if I wanted to. We shall see. After seeing Pirates of Penzance last night, I had that feeling again...like I had after seeing the Seussical freshmen year at CU that I wanted to be in a musical. I would love to play Ariel in The Little Mermaid or Giselle in Enchanted. I do have red hair. I would just need to grow it out real long! That would be perfect for my future wedding! Haha. I do get sidetracked.



But back to Chirho. There are some pretty amazing songs on their cd. My favorite has to be "Kyrie Eleison". It means Oh Lord, have mercy. I have forgotten how much I love this song and how relevant the words are.

Kyrie Eleison down the road that I must travel

Kyrie Eleison through the darkness of the night

Kyrie Eleison where I go, will you follow

Kyrie Eleison on a highway in the light

These words from the chorus really resonate in my heart. I cannot do anything without God. I cannot get through this life without His help. I need His grace, love, and mercy everyday. The Bible even tells about how His mercies are new every morning. Look up Lamentations 3:22-23. I have no power to do anything. I chose to do things on my own, but I cannot determine the things that are going to come into my life. I cannot predict what people I will meet, what job I will get, whether or not I'll get into graduate school, when/if I'll get married, when/how I'm going to die. So many things in our lives that we want to know the outcome of, but we cannot predict the future. I could not have told you a year ago that today I would be without a job, and that my great grandmother would not be around much longer. I have so many questions that I would like answered, but I cannot know everything. Sometimes it's best to not know. That's why God's mercy is so amazing...because....I deserve nothing that He has given me. I am but a filthy rag, a broken vessel. Yet the King of Kings, and Lord of Lords, because He loves me so much, gives me things that I do not deserve and keeps me from the things that I do deserve, the eternal consequences of my sins=death. Yet He saw fit to give up His only Son to pay the price that I could never pay. He gave me the gift of eternal life because He loved me so much. I have no words. Who am I, that the the Lord of all Earth would care to know my name and care to feel my hurt. Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin, would look on me with love and watch me rise again. Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done. Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are. I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow. A wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind. Still you hear me when I'm calling, Lord, you catch me when I'm falling. And You've told me who I am, I am Yours.

Praise God.

I am Yours.