feel lost much?

Do you ever feel lost? Do you ever feel like you don't know where you belong? Do you ever have those moments of panic in which you wonder why you are where you are--how did I get here--what's my purpose--why can't my life be easier?

Why does life have to be so hard? Why? WHY? So, I had one of those moments---well rather several of those moments today. It seemed as if I had taken a leave of absence from my body and was watching my life as I would watch a movie. There have been a lot of things to happen in the past couple of years of my life that have caused me moments of panic such as these and times where doubt fills my mind and the fear takes over. Fear of not being able to do the things which I was created to do. Fear of not doing the right thing. Fear of taking the wrong path.

Today, I let things into my mind and heart that wreaked some havoc on me for a few hours. I was lost. I've gotten to a point in my life where I don't understand why I am where I am. Why am I a 24 year-old-single-college graduate-still living at home-working at a job that I didn't go to school for--living the way I am? I became angry and sad. I started to wallow in my self pity--wondering why I couldn't have a more exciting, and fulfilling life. A life in which I could have my own place, work at a job where I knew exactly what I was doing, and was completely fulfilled and content with my life. Why have I not met the man that God has for me? I feel like I've been left behind. There are so many people getting married, having babies, about to get engaged...I just feel so left out. I know God has a plan. But it doesn't make my wait any easier. And why oh why, do the people who seem to dislike me follow me wherever I go? And why do some people seem to not want me around?

The day did not seem to get any better. News of the economy slipping down the dark slope of recession into a potential depression. Seriously? This is 2011. This is the United States of America. Why are these things happening?

Okay friends, reality set in. Yes, life is hard. I know this. I've known this fact for a while. Life isn't fair. But there is one thing that will never change. God. He is always steadfast. He is constant. He is faithful. I remember the lesson we studied in Life Group yesterday in Colossians. God is always faithful. He will always be faithful. He will always take care of us. He knows what we need and will always provide for those needs in the way He sees fit. This is not an easy thing to always swallow--because we are the type of people who want things yesterday--but we may have to wait a while. Sometimes those waits are waits for a 'yes' answer---and sometimes those waits bring a 'no' answer. We may not always like the outcomes of our waits--but we have to trust His answers because He has our best in mind. BECAUSE--He is good. He is just. He is holy. And HE LOVES US.

W.O.W. Yeah, He loves us. Oh, HOW He loves us. I tend to forget this fact when I'm beginning to go down into the dumps because I'm unhappy and discontent with my life. I need to have reality checks every once in a while. I need to remember my place in this world. I am not needing of anything. I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food on the table. I have a dependable car to drive, great friends to hang out with, and a family that loves me. I have a job that is secure, a church that is accepting, and a God who is faithful.

In the quiet of my reality check moment, I come to terms with where I am. My life is His. His plans are for my good. And I know that I once was blind, but now I see; and I once was lost, but now I'm found.