--just a ramble

Sometimes I just wish that I could turn back time. I wish I could go back to the place where I had the least amount of responsibilities or had freedom to be a child. The times when life seemed easiest and simple. Simplicity is key. I do not equate simplicity with the need to have things and always be available for contact. I could do without email, facebook, and my cell phone. I do not need them. Sometimes I wish I did not have them. I wish I did not feel the need to have to be attached to my cell phone all the time, or even feel the need to check my email everyday or facebook...well more than once a day. [I need to break the habit...or should I say addiction?--it can suck you in] I wish that I could wake up when I want to and not have to worry about having to work[not that I have a job yet...still waiting on that...but do not worry I have not been sitting around being idle all day, everyday since I graduated] I even wish I did not have a tv to watch. There are just way too many unnecessary distractions in the world. Most have to do with technology. And technology gets us all in to some form of trouble. Whether it takes us away from activities that are more important and helpful to our lives. Or it can take us to places that we do not need to go. Bad habits are formed all thanks to the ever so accessible technology that every American feels the need to have and be attached at the hip to. It is a problem. Is there a good solution? Well, I think there is. I have yet to find it though. I am working on not being so attached. But it does suck you in head first and you have nothing to grab onto to keep you from being caught up in the whirlwind of the latest news/gossip/crisis or the latest social crutches that make it easy to not have to talk to a person face to face. What has this done to our social skills? It sure does make it easy to talk to people because you can be whoever you want to be and you can do it in the safety of your own home. Talk about making shy people bold, ugly people pretty, stupid people smart, and real people fake---shocker. That is one of my biggest pet peeves. Fake people. Although I would be calling my own bluff. I can be fake too. Although I do not wish to be, sometimes there are certain situations in which I cannot help but be fake. Situations get awkward or you really want to yell and scream profanity because you think it will make you feel better, but you MUST be the perfect and well put together lady who is always nice and always has a smile on her face. See the trap we can so easily fall into. There are so many social crutches in our society--and all those fake people are becoming more fake. Sooner or later the plastic masks we wear are going to melt or crack---then -GASP- everyone will see us as we really are. I am working on prying the mask off my own face. Because no matter how hard I pretend I am not a fake person, I see something else slap me in the face saying...well you always act like you have it all together, yet you really do not. God help us all. Because it hurts to be real. And no one likes to hurt or even allow themselves to be open up to being hurt. It is not comfortable. I want people to see me as a real, genuine person. Someone who is not perfect, but is trying hard to live a life that is full of meaning and that is pleasing to the One who made me. I am working on opening up and not being afraid to allow people to know me for me. It might not be pretty, but if everyone works together, it will be beautiful.