Thursday, July 16, 2009


so i'm ready for something to happen.
i'm ready for something new.
i'm ready to get a job.
i'm ready to go to grad school.
i'm ready to meet the love of my life.
i'm ready to get married.
i'm ready to have kids.
i'm ready to....

wow. am i really ready? for all of that? am i ready to move on with life and to grow up. am i ready to commit my life to someone forever and ever hold your peace amen and amen. i mean....seriously? well to be honest, half of me is...and then that other half isn't ready. but i am ready for SOMETHING to happen. anything. ok, not just anything. but something good, new, different, and exciting.

because....i'm getting bored. and this just isn't gonna cut it for me now.

i need a sign.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

reasons to be thankful.

beautiful creation.

the last few days--i got to taste a bit of goodness.

so this weekend i went back towards my old stomping grounds. ok they are not that old and it has not been years since i've been there. just two months. wow, two months have already passed by since i've graduated from college. it hurts my heart a little to think about it. i miss it. i never thought i would, but i do. going back down 421 felt like i was going home, and my heart was full. the whole weekend was filled with things that i did while i was at campbell. i ate at mi casita's, went to a show in raleigh, ventured to sunni skys, hiked at raven rock, and saw several precious friends. it was an AMAZING weekend. and it definitely was a breath of fresh air. i have needed the distraction.

this past weekend was a glimpse of the things that i miss dearly. some people and places and experiences.

friday night: i absolutely loved the show at the pour house and can't wait to go to another...i'm pretty sure i've been to at least 10 a clerestory shows and about 7ish martha ann motel shows. they are both amazing bands and i have enjoyed being able to go see them play and meet some of the band members. they are really cool guys! i encourage you to check them out if you don't know their music already!

saturday: went to bed around 2:30am and got up late. had lunch with diane and spent the rest of the afternoon with alicia, trey, and logan. good times are always had. we played our own version of "horse"--i lost, and did not so legal things like exploring the not yet completed town houses at wolf creek. i sure do miss my crazy friends at campbell. [oh and alicia and i enjoyed some sunni skys....i sure do love me some sugar cookie icecream! yum!]

sunday: i was a pagan and did not go to church. i spent the afternoon with the letrent family. which is always a treat and a hoot. i absolutely love virginia's family. they make me feel like one of their own! virginia and i had to take our "graduation" cap and gown picture because we didn't get to after graduation in may. only we know what is so incredibly funny about our pictures! hahahaha. then we went hiking at raven rock. we had fun exploring and deciding that we should go camping there sometime this fall! --i decided to spend an extra night because i was not ready to leave. so a fun dinner at cracker barrel was had with virginia, her mom, and grandma. oh, i can't even tell you how much i have laughed over the past few days. it has definitely added years to my life. :)

monday: i came home. babysat katherine--a precious little girl who will never cease to make me laugh! then i went to foothills brewing for dinner with casey and nerine. oh, what a night of good food, laughs, and great conversation--and of course we had to stop for coffee--hence why i am still up at 1 am writing this blog...although i must say it is choppy and not very well put together. hahaha. oh well. i'm hoping to get better at writing. even if it is just random happenings. i'm hoping to have some more serious posts sometime in the near future. maybe discuss some things on my heart/mind. i've got a lot of that!

soooooooooooooooo. that's enough for now. i need to get to bed. i've got to get up early to work out with mom before we have lunch with mary[my step grandmother--God give me patience!] haha. so many great things going on. and maybe i'll write about them tomorrow...or sometime this week. until next time, peace and love.

ps. piercingly blue eyes are so distracting, especially when they belong to a talented musician. and r&c is my fave. ;)

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

pretty sweet photos

so i've been on this "creative" kick lately. i'm working on an "art" journal which will consist of drawings, random photos from magazines and my own personal photos and other great pics i well as songs, poems, quotes, etc. it's just going to be a random book filled with artsy things that i love and things that inspire or things that are just me! :)
so these photos i found just randomly googling and i just thought that they were amazing. first, they show the absolute perfection of our Creator. how amazing and beautiful! second, i love pictures and photography. although i don't know that much about it, i really want to start doing it. --i just need a better camera-- and thirdly, they are very peaceful to me and they calm my heart. this is the kind of place i want to live. i want to live out in the "country" and have wide open spaces and a place where i can sit and enjoy the beauty of the land and God's creation that is surrounding me. i just love it! :) so i hope you enjoy them!
photos from: by way of flickr

it's been a while.

well well well. what did i expect? i would keep up with this thing daily. oh no no. of course i had good intentions of keeping up with this better. but i guess there's not much going on right now in my life, so i don't feel the need to update so much. but i guess after a month of not blogging...i shall update on life.

i'm still unemployed....but i have been searching and....[drum roll!] APPLYING! yes, i have applied to jobs! hurray for me! i got on the "job searcher" train. right now i am still waiting to hear anything from the 8-10 jobs that i have applied for so far. i still have a long road ahead and have a lot more work to do when it comes to my job hunt. but i am not being idle and succumbing to the fear of putting myself out into the real world. i have applied for several preschool teaching jobs and teacher assistant jobs. once i get the needed information from a reference, i will be applying to a developmental specialist job. which, by the way, is my dream job! it is a job that works with children and their families. it is based around early intervention which works with children birth to 3 and trying to help these children being diagnosed and treated in a more timely fashion in one that will help them[the children] be more successful in school. that is the goal. to prevent problems in the future. this is what i want to do. i want to help children with special needs get the needed treatments, therapy, help, etc to make them as successful as possible as well as helping them lead as close to a "normal" life as possible. i only have two things holding me back...1. experience and 2. credentials--but what's the harm in applying. at least my name will be out there--for their future reference. and who knows maybe i will impress them without having those two things and they could potentially be willing to work with me as i seek to gain more experience and obtain my credentials. i also want to go back to school, so that will be another thing on my to-do list over the next few weeks and months.

so that is about it. not much else to say. i'm still searching and hoping to find my place right now. there are a lot of heart issues as well as mind issues that i'm working through. life is tough. and i wasn't ready to face some of the bigger things, but i am being forced to overcome my fears and anxiety and push on through my struggles. i am striving to be the person that God wants me to be. it's been a slow process. snail's pace really. but i'm working on it. i know God can use this dirty, broken vessel. i do have a purpose, and i have meaning because of Him. for that i a thankful.

[i apologize for my random ramblings and's just how my mind works at times] :)

peace and love.