As I took my dogs out this morning, I felt for their little paws as they had to walk on snow, ice, and through a huge puddle right in front of the door we go out. Here my feet were covered with socks inside my boots, and they had to get a shock from the freezing cold elements. I could almost relate to the shock and feel my own bare feet in the freezing cold water or on the ice and snow. In fact, I almost dared to put my bare feet into the cold water just to feel it. Almost to take the shock like what my heart is feeling today. God has really been working on me here lately. Everything I hear, read, sing....it's so fitting with what's been going on in my heart and mind. Battles I've been fighting for a very long time, and circumstances I've been facing have brought my heart to a broken and shocked state. God has been trying to grab my attention. Here I am trying to fight my battles on my own, only to fail every single time. He was trying to show me how much He loves me and wants to fight my battles for me. Because I can't win these battles alone. And I'm not suppose to fight alone. So as I come to my knees in total surrender, lifting my hands to the only One who can help me overcome the things in my life that have created much hurt in my life, I give Him my battles, I hand over my struggles, I ask Him to forgive me for my unbelief, and ask Him to give me strength to live the life He's called me to live. I can only say how thankful I am for His grace, mercy, and love. I'm humbled. I'm ready for Him to really move me. I'm daring to pray His will and take a leap of faith to see where He's going to lead. I have no idea what will come, but I have confidence in the One who is Sovereign over all. He is truly enough. He can start putting back the broken parts of this creation of His. As I read through Hebrews 11 yesterday about faith, I was shocked with my own lack of faith. In this passage, there are people whose stories we read about in the Bible who have faith that humbles me. The struggles of God's people and their faithfulness to Him even in difficult circumstances. He blessed their lives and made them a blessing, even if in some circumstances they didn't get to see "the end result"...it lead to the day a baby was born in a stable. A Savior. Their stories of redemption lead us to the ultimate redemption. The redeeming blood that was shed by that baby who grew up to be a man who lived a sinless, perfect life. The King who left His throne to come down to Earth. The God who left His glory...to die for the people He created. To die for the people He loves. The people who hated Him. The people who rebelled against Him. He came to die for all. That we might have life. And that our lives would be full. But only through Him, and realizing our need for redemption can we be brought to that place where we can be set free. The point where we are brought to life. A life grounded in Christ.
So here's where I am. Broken. Humbled. Thankful. I know my life will not get easy. In fact, it may get more difficult. But I want to stop living my life trying to be so independent. I need to become dependent. Dependent on Christ every day as I seek to live the life He has for me. So as I face every new day, I'm going to seek to begin my day giving Him those things I can't change. Giving Him my fears. Giving Him my everything.
I encourage anyone who may read this, if you're not already doing so, give your life completely to Him. If you don't know Jesus as your Savior, please don't hesitate to reach out to me and I can tell you about what He's done for me and what He can do for you. He will change your life. I can promise you that. I will close out this post with the lyrics to one of the most powerful hymns I've heard and a favorite of mine.
"Before The Throne of God Above"
Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea.
A great high Priest whose Name is Love
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on His hands,
My name is written on His heart.
I know that while in Heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart.
When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free.
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me.
Behold Him there the risen Lamb,
My perfect spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I AM,
The King of glory and of grace,
One in Himself I cannot die.
My soul is purchased by His blood,
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ my Savior and my God!