Do you ever think about how many "fresh starts" you get in your life? There are actually more than you think. In fact, everyday brings a "fresh start". You have a new day--one with no mistakes in it. One in which you can choose to do great things. Be extraordinary. There are also other "fresh starts"--first day of school, first day of a new job, etc. Last night was a "fresh start" for CG Kids this year. I was really excited to be back working with the kiddos last night. We had around 65 kids!! That's pretty awesome! I'm hoping they'll keep coming--and that more will come. Now, I also pray for more people to help serve in this awesome ministry of CG Kids. It's definitely worth the time on Wednesday nights. The kids are so energizing and encouraging to be around. They always have something funny to say, questions to ask, and plenty of energy to use up during the hour. I've missed being around the kids this summer, they have a funny way of making my day brighter. I just hope that I can brighten some of their days. I don't know where all of these kids come from or what their lives are like at home. I just hope I can show them lots of love, joy, hope, encouragement, and a smile. And of course hugs, high fives, fist pounds, and an open lap when they want to come sit with me. I love these kids and I'm so excited about this new year and the "fresh start" of CG Kids for this 2011/2012 school year. I pray God does EXTRAORDINARY things through all the kids and through all of us who work with them!
Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these"
Do you ever feel lost? Do you ever feel like you don't know where you belong? Do you ever have those moments of panic in which you wonder why you are where you are--how did I get here--what's my purpose--why can't my life be easier?
Why does life have to be so hard? Why? WHY? So, I had one of those moments---well rather several of those moments today. It seemed as if I had taken a leave of absence from my body and was watching my life as I would watch a movie. There have been a lot of things to happen in the past couple of years of my life that have caused me moments of panic such as these and times where doubt fills my mind and the fear takes over. Fear of not being able to do the things which I was created to do. Fear of not doing the right thing. Fear of taking the wrong path.
Today, I let things into my mind and heart that wreaked some havoc on me for a few hours. I was lost. I've gotten to a point in my life where I don't understand why I am where I am. Why am I a 24 year-old-single-college graduate-still living at home-working at a job that I didn't go to school for--living the way I am? I became angry and sad. I started to wallow in my self pity--wondering why I couldn't have a more exciting, and fulfilling life. A life in which I could have my own place, work at a job where I knew exactly what I was doing, and was completely fulfilled and content with my life. Why have I not met the man that God has for me? I feel like I've been left behind. There are so many people getting married, having babies, about to get engaged...I just feel so left out. I know God has a plan. But it doesn't make my wait any easier. And why oh why, do the people who seem to dislike me follow me wherever I go? And why do some people seem to not want me around?
The day did not seem to get any better. News of the economy slipping down the dark slope of recession into a potential depression. Seriously? This is 2011. This is the United States of America. Why are these things happening?
Okay friends, reality set in. Yes, life is hard. I know this. I've known this fact for a while. Life isn't fair. But there is one thing that will never change. God. He is always steadfast. He is constant. He is faithful. I remember the lesson we studied in Life Group yesterday in Colossians. God is always faithful. He will always be faithful. He will always take care of us. He knows what we need and will always provide for those needs in the way He sees fit. This is not an easy thing to always swallow--because we are the type of people who want things yesterday--but we may have to wait a while. Sometimes those waits are waits for a 'yes' answer---and sometimes those waits bring a 'no' answer. We may not always like the outcomes of our waits--but we have to trust His answers because He has our best in mind. BECAUSE--He is good. He is just. He is holy. And HE LOVES US.
W.O.W. Yeah, He loves us. Oh, HOW He loves us. I tend to forget this fact when I'm beginning to go down into the dumps because I'm unhappy and discontent with my life. I need to have reality checks every once in a while. I need to remember my place in this world. I am not needing of anything. I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food on the table. I have a dependable car to drive, great friends to hang out with, and a family that loves me. I have a job that is secure, a church that is accepting, and a God who is faithful.
In the quiet of my reality check moment, I come to terms with where I am. My life is His. His plans are for my good. And I know that I once was blind, but now I see; and I once was lost, but now I'm found.
I love vacations. I love getting away. I love seeing new/different things. I love seeing/meeting people. I love going to try out new places to eat. I love doing things I don't normally do at home. Of course then there's the whole being lazy on vacation. It's nice to just get away from the busy, fastpacedness of life and just sit back and relax.
That's what I loved about last week on my vacation. I could sleep in until whenever. I didn't have anywhere I had to be. I could just sit by the pool and read. Ride my bike to the beach. Play in the water and just not worry about life back home.
Sometimes I wish I could live somewhere else...like the beach. It would be nice to be in a setting that's so relaxing all the time. Of course, I'd probably end up being a bum--then have to come back to reality. Hence the need for yearly vacations to allow for the time to just sit back and forget about life. Although you never do forget. It's still there---looming over you as the clock ticks away until the day you have to leave your paradise. But it just makes you long that much more for your vacation throughout the year. I look forward to going back to the beach--or just getting out of town in general. I've got a few plans up my sleeve. I just wish I had the unlimited resources to hop on a plane and fly to wherever or get in my car and drive to the coast. But, I don't. I guess that's what retirement is for?! I don't know--I just know I've gotta get myself in gear and back into a work/study mode. Back to real life it is...hahaha. :)
Here's a little piece of beauty for you to enjoy...