I just turned 24 a couple of days ago. It's crazy how time has flown by. I can't believe that I'm already this "old". Seriously, yesterday I was 16 and getting my driver's license; last week I was 5 becoming a big sister. Life flies. And it is in no hurry of slowing down. Does that make sense? Wow. 24. I have officially entered my mid-twenties. One year away from being a quarter of a century old[thanks to a good friend for this reminder that makes me feel like I'm going to be super old!] Haha. Well, I have a new year to live in. Another year filled with endless opportunities and chances to try new things, meet new people, become the person that God wants me to be. Will I step up and start my new year off right. Be the bigger person. Learn how to be kinder. Show grace. Reflect Love. Pursue holiness. Seek after God's will in a way that drives me to be completely sold out to Him and surrendering everything that I am and giving Him all that I have. All my worries, doubt, unbelief, frustrations, distractions, temptations, sins, and brokenness. My job, my health, my friends, my family, my plans, my time, my EVERYTHING.
I've been struggling with a lot of different things over the past year. I started off with loosing my Meemau, then went to my job situation, then most recently the disappointment with another failed crush. I like the quote from the movie Sixteen Candles when the character of Sam's dad tells her "That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else" It's true. Except in her case she got the guy. I'm dealing with loosing the guy without him even knowing I was interested. I like to "be scarce" and not show someone that I'm interested. That's way too dangerous for me to do. I've had enough experience in the crush department to know that it's not a good thing for them to know. Only because I've experienced loosing friends, being made fun of, and lies. Well all except for one guy. He shall remain nameless, but he knows who he is. He and I are still friends today--and he never did anything ungentlemenly-like[like my new word?] So yeah, 24. New chance. New time. Fresh slate. I have the opportunity to really do amazing things in the world and with my life--or I can really mess stuff up. I'm hoping for the first--amazingness. I want to do right in this my 24th year of life. I want God to work in and through me. I want to fall completely in love with Him and be totally dependent on Him for my source of love and affirmation. Then maybe in my 25th year--I'll be ready--or maybe not--it could be several years--I'm just hoping that I'll learn how to not worry about certain[ok I don't need to worry about anything, but just not focus on some things so much--it's distracting and somewhat destructive] So here goes my 24th year.