Saturday, August 11, 2012


It's been a while since I've posted.  When I started this blog over 3 years ago[wow hard to believe it's been that long],  I had every intention of posting on a more regular basis.

Sometimes, life gets in the way.  Sometimes, I don't have anything to say.  Sometimes, I don't think anyone would care to read what I have to write about.

For me, the last few months of my blogging absence has been due to all of those previously mentioned  reasons.  There has been a lot going on.  As I look back on the past three years since I started this blog, I've had a lot happen to me.  Some good things.  Some bad things.  The past few months have brought about some more hardships, and some good times.  There are two things that are currently going on that are very difficult to deal with.  I'm learning how to better handle things, but then I get so weak, that I just can't handle anymore.  That's why I've decided to make some changes.  Some have been semi-dramatic changes that came very quickly because I was tired of dealing with those things.  There are some other things that are going to take time as I find the right time to make those changes.

Change is something that I don't always handle very well.  But in some of these particular situations, I feel like it's time I make them.  Now, I don't want to make such rash decisions without praying over them.  So that's why it's going to take time, and God's guidance to show me what I need to do.

God has been very gracious and merciful to me.  Even when I really really really, did I say really?  don't deserve it.  Every time I fail Him,  He has never failed to love me.  He is faithful, even when I am not.  He has blessed my life so much, and I do not always recognize when He has--and I've had to be shown quite recently how much He has blessed me.  Even when I am not content with where my life is and my current situation.  He has provided immensely for me.  He has given me an amazing, supportive family.  A steady[and never will go away] job.  Some incredible small groups of friends who have been able to witness to me in my time(s) of need.  A church where I can serve God through some of the gifts He has given me.   And He has given me the strength and endurance to get through some challenges with my health.  I still have some issues, but thankfully, and Praise God, that I have my health.

I'm still learning.  A lot.  God still has a lot to teach me.  I'm sure it's going to take pretty much forever, and then some to teach this hard headed person some lessons that are well worth learning.    I just hope that my life and the way I live it will be a testimony to God and His ever-abounding grace.  I know there have been many times where I have not shown God's grace.  That is when my carnal side takes over and is not honoring God.  I know I have let people down.  Well, let's face it, we all let people down at one time or another.  It's what we do.  We are people.  And because of that, we are not perfect.  So I will fail.  I can't expect myself to get it right 100% of the time.  But it's my purpose to try.  Because called has called me to a higher calling.  He has called me to tell everyone about Him.  To share and spread the Gospel.  Which comes down to love.  That's something I have a hard time doing.  I have a hard time loving people.  This hard time loving people comes from my lack of patience and my tendency to be easily annoyed.  I'm working on this.  But it's not going to be fixed over night.  So bear with me.  All you who deal with me on a day to day, or whenever you deal with me, basis.  Thank you for understanding that I am a weak human being.  That I'm not perfect, I'm just a great sinner in need of a great Savior.  Everyday I need His saving.

I'm sorry for the rambling nature of this post.  But I felt the urge to blog.  Even if it doesn't make sense. I was going to write on another topic, but decided to go with this.  Maybe I'll go into that topic soon, but we'll see when I get on this again.

Until then, much peace and love.