Yeah, crazy stuff has happened this year. 2011 has been interesting to say the least. And my 25th year started out to be very interesting. These first two months into it have been two very difficult, scary months. I've been to a ton of doctors, had big tests done, and major surgery. I never thought that I would, at age 25, develop a very large cyst in my abdomen and have to have surgery to remove that. That was only part of the surgery--I also lost a couple female things--and had another cyst that had to be removed. The major cyst that I had that was found on my CT scan turned out to be 25 inches long and they drained 6 liters of fluid. Since my surgery, I've lost a total of 21 pounds! Crazy! This thing had been growing inside my body, unnoticed for a while--and I didn't feel it! God works in mysterious ways. Had it not been for heart issues that caused me to go to the doctor in the first place---I do not know when or how it would have been found. In fact, something worse could have happened. But I'm clear of what I deemed "Olga"--she is gone, been tested, and has been disposed of. I'm only left to wait a little bit more for results from the tests done on the cysts and to get my not so wonderful, lovely, comfy staples removed.
There's been a lot of waiting. I had to wait for doctors to be available. Wait for results. Wait for surgery. Now back to waiting for more results. I really don't like waiting. I would like to know for certain that the alien thing that was removed from my body did not have any cancerous cells in it. I'm pretty sure I don't have cancer--but then again--I never thought that when I started having heart issues that it would lead to major surgery to remove a ginormous cyst. So I just need to be patient, wait on God, take peace in His control over my situation and rest.
Today, because I'm still recovering at home, I watched our Engage service online. Our new youth pastor preached today about rest. He preached from Psalm 23--and challenged us to learn how to find time in our days to rest in God's word. It's so important to stay connected to our Savior and draw closer to Him through quiet times in the day when we talk to Him and read His word.
This is something that I struggle with. Just being honest. I've gone through my good days and my bad days. I'm not perfect. I wish it came easier for me to rest and be quiet. To take the time[that I really do have a whole lot of at the moment] to spend with my Savior everyday--seems to be so hard. When I really have no excuse to not take time and rest in my Savior and all that He has done for me. And He really has done a lot for me this year. He has taught me quite a bit about Himself--as well as teaching me about me. I'm still learning life lessons as I continue to deal with different situations--especially new ones--things I've never had to deal with before. Sometimes "growing up" sucks. I'm definitely still a kid at heart. Heck I still live at home--and am soaking it up[but also very grateful for] my parents and how they have cared for me and been there for me so much--especially these past couple of months. They have sacrificed so much for me--and I know that this has also been very difficult for them too. But I know everything that they have done for me--it's because they love me. I am so thankful for them. I'm so thankful for their love, support, time, and care. They've given me so much that I don't deserve.
I have been so blessed this year. I've been blessed to have such wonderful parents, a loving family, super supportive friends---and an awesome church family. God has been good.
So to end tonight, what are you thankful for? What has God blessed you with this year--maybe it's something you didn't really realize until now--some things are little and not as obvious as maybe the bigger blessings. It's okay to be thankful for those little things too. Because there are a lot of little things I'm thankful for: getting "get well" cards/letters/pictures in the mail, "get well" flowers, visits from friends, comfy pants, my mom staying with me in the hospital every night, having an appetite again, etc. These are all little random blessings as I like to call them.
Where has this year taken you? Is it what you thought it would be? I know we have a little over a month left--but I know this year has brought a lot of surprises for me. I'm curious about next year. I'm hoping it's a "quieter" year, but I won't turn down chances to be surprised in not so quiet ways.
I'm still praying I meet my future husband next year[I pray this every year--we'll see if 2012 is my year--or I could still meet him in 2011--I got time, right?!] haha
seek peace. show love. find rest.
