Looking back at 2013, I see good things and not so good things. I see places I stumbled and places I succeeded. I see things that were painful and some that were healing. I see new faces come into the picture and some faces that have moved away. Every year brings its own set of challenges. 2013 was no different. It brought challenges and trials that I didn't see coming. No one can see into the future, thank goodness! There've been times when I wish that I could see the future, but I know it's definitely for our best that we do not know the future. So as I reflect on last year, it's funny how quickly I forget certain things that have happened. Time passes so quickly that I can hardly remember what I did from month to month. Thankfully facebook helps me document some of those moments that I want to remember.
Every year comes with new lessons and life experiences. God continues to teach me new things and shows me grace upon grace, every. single. day. Grace I most definitely do not deserve. He allows me to experience things that may be somewhat uncomfortable, but it's in these experiences that He allows me to grow and stretch. One thing that I will count as a success for the year is dealing with a situation I had been dreading/avoiding for over 2 years. It was something I could not avoid, even if I tried. But in the end, I realized a couple of things. One, God had given me the strength to let go of bitterness, anger, and grudges that I had had for over 2 years. Oh, how good it feels to be free of those life sucking feelings. Two, I needed to be more compassionate toward people. I tend to be quick to judge, and in this particular situation one of the people who I had held a grudge against had been dealing with some difficult life circumstances. No matter what had happened to me, she did not deserve for me to have the feelings that I had had against her. I thank God for giving me that opportunity to realize that those feelings I had were not valid. Not healthy. Not Christ-like. He was like: "Jilene, it's time to let it go." The freedom from that just makes my heart so much happier. There are also lessons that I've had to learn in more difficult ways. Having to deal with past relationships and some unresolved issues with that, I had to learn that some people have a harder time letting go and moving on completely. And sometimes that leftover feelings can create anger and lead to things being said that are not true and are hurtful. That was one phone call I did not enjoy getting, but thankfully that godly friend had my back and hopefully I won't have to deal with that situation ever again.
There were also lot of happy times. Lots of time with family and friends. There were several weddings, a graduation, family reunions, vacation, concerts and babies. There were also sad times. My family lost one of our dogs this past summer. Samson got sick in May and we had to let him go the end of July. It was very heartbreaking to lose him. He was a part of our family and he's still greatly missed to this day.
As I look ahead to this year, since we're already in 2014, I know that there are many good and bad times ahead. God has great plans for this year. I look forward to see how He's going to grow and stretch me. But more on my thoughts on the year ahead in another post. Hopefully, you'll be hearing more from me in 2014. It's in my "plan"...so yeah. Stay tuned.
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