It was my junior year at Campbell, and I was working on my observation hours for one of my classes and I was observing in an EC classroom at Lillington-Shawtown. These precious children were preschool aged and I had so much to learn when it comes to children with special needs. I didn't always know how to interact or handle certain situations. But let me tell you, the love these children have and would show to a stranger like myself humbles me. This particular day I was observing in the morning for a while during their circle time, centers, and outside playtime. Well almost immediately this precious little boy decides to attach himself to me and wants me to hold him and play with him. How could I not fall in love with him immediately? He was only 4, yet he'd had so much pain in his short life. His special needs were due to drugs and alcohol and he'd been neglected by his parents, so he was now in foster care. It broke my heart to know the pain this precious little boy had experienced. He longed to be loved. And I freely loved on him that day. But even more he blessed my heart that day.
My time was quickly coming to an end that day, and it was time to go outside to play on the playground. He wanted to swing, so off we went to my childhood favorite on the playground, the swings. He just talked and talked. He'd ask me questions and I'd answer them. As I continued to push him on the swing, he began to sing. [Let me tell you as I think back to it right now, I'm tearing up because of the song he had begun to sing.] "God is so good. God is so good. God is so good. He's so good to me". I was speechless. Then when eventually my voice came back to me, I began to sing with him. I didn't even think about the fact that this might not be allowed in a public school. But I sang along, and prayed that this little boy's life would not be filled with anymore pain. I so wanted to take him home with me that day. I wanted to give him the love he deserved to have shown to him. I was so sad that day when I had to leave. But his song that day blessed my heart and convicted it as well. To think of his life and all he had endured in his short life struck me to the core. Here he was singing about how good God is and his life was so not good. I pray his foster family showed him love, and maybe it was there that he learned about God and His goodness. I will never know.
As I had this random memory this morning, I was struck by it again and I was thankful to God for His goodness in my own life. I need to remember God's goodness everyday. I need to dwell on it. I need to thank Him for it. He really is good. So good. I look back at my life, and I have not experienced anything like that precious angel boy had experienced. But I've had difficult times. And God has always been there. He's always provided. I can think of some of the biggest and most difficult moments in which God gave me exactly what I needed to get through the struggles and trials I faced. The biggest and most recent one I go back to is the fall of 2011. That fall started out questionable. I thought I might be dying. I thought there was something wrong with my heart. Then when it wasn't my heart, it turned into it could be cancer. And I had to have surgery to remove the tumor "baby" that had grown, for only God knows how long. In the initial findings, there was no cancer. After further testing, no cancer. Although, had it not been caught, it would have become cancer. I still praise God for that. If I had not listened to His urgings and taken the signs He had given me, well I don't know what my life would look like right now. I thank God for His goodness during that very scary and dark time. He provided strength. He provided the right doctors. He provided family and friends to surround me with love, encouragement, and their prayers. So as I am reminded of that precious angel boy singing "God is so good. God is so good. God is so good. He's so good to me", I thank and praise God for His continued goodness. I don't deserve it. But I will continue to be thankful for it until the day I take my last breath. I want to sing His goodness freely like the little boy I met that day at Lillington-Shawtown.
Because He deserves to be praised for Who He Is.
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. Psalm 100:5