we spend the majority of our lives waiting to live
Ok, wow. I was totally taken off guard yesterday. I mean, that's what I've been doing for the past...well as long as I can remember. When I was little [like 5], I couldn't wait to be old enough to go to school. Then as I got older, it was be able to spend the night at a friend's house, go to middle/high school, drive, date, go to college. Then in college, I was waiting on finding that dream job and perfect man. I couldn't wait to be done and be onto to the next thing. It wasn't until my last semester of college, that I wanted to freeze time and enjoy every second that I had left. I wasn't ready to leave. Then I get home, and into find a job mode. At that point it was a survival mode...not really looking for the "dream" job. I just needed to have a job. I didn't want to be that post grad living at home with no job. At least I have a job. But now I'm looking forward to my "dream" job, grad school, and still looking for that perfect man. I'm in a constant state of waiting around on the next big event to happen in my life. And quite frankly, I'm tired of all the waiting. I feel like the rest of my life is lived in this state of non living...because every day is the same old boring thing. I have the occasional sprinklings of fun things like going to visit friends at CU, gamenights, or random and rare times of hanging out with friends here at home. My life is not bringing me fulfillment because I'm not satisfied with it. I'm not content with anything that I have because I want to have the future things now. I can see things so much clearer now that I understand why I've felt hopeless and apathetic. I can't live without participating in my own life. I would just be a robot going through the motions everyday. It's high time that I take the initiative and start truly living my life. But that is going to take some effort and motivation. Because I'm a lazy person who doesn't want to try or take the time out of my "busy day" --insert lol here because I'm not busy...I just pretend to be....since I work 40 hours a week, why is it that I make myself feel like I deserve certain things just because I work now.....I'm not privileged to things just because of that.
So, my challenge is to learn how to truly live. And the only way I can do that is taking hold of love ---because real life begins when love is found and love is found only at the cross
It was definitely a good challenge, and it was exactly what I needed to hear. Go check out
1 John 4:7-21 for the scriptural basis to back it up. :)
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