God is good. I can't think of a perfect word to describe His awesomeness and amazingness because of the things He's been teaching me and showing me lately--oh and doing for me. He has blessed me a whole lot lately. He is constantly growing me and drawing me closer to Himself. He's also been showing me that I have such incredible value in His eyes. How come it took me so long to figure out how much He really really does love me? It's sad really. I've been missing out. I've been letting my flesh get the best of me and Satan took hold of certain areas of my life to make me feel very very inadequate. But as I've experienced some pretty incredible things over the past few weeks--and learned quite a bit---that I really do have an incredible purpose here on this earth. He made me the way He made me for a very specific reason. And He's shown me through different people how I have so much to offer. That's why I'm just super excited about finally getting to a point where I'm not so afraid to do things. It all started when I was asked to lead a group of girls at Discipleship Now. I felt totally inadequate and was very nervous about doing it. But that turned into one of the best spiritual experiences I have had[in that kind of setting] since I graduated from college. The speaker that weekend talked about how we need to "live weak"--basically everyday when we wake up--we give our day to God. Total and complete surrender. Because...from my experience, when I try to live life on my own...I fail miserably. I want to "live weak" everyday for Him--for the purpose which He has created me. That's to tell others about Him and to live my life in total surrender to His will and bringing Him glory with everything that I do.
It's funny how selfish--and greedy I've been. Until this morning...I didn't think greed pertained to anything other than money---until our lesson today in Lifegroup. I see how "closed minded" and down right rude I had been when it came to being kind to people and going out of my comfort zone to talk to new people who are different than me. To say the least, I have been humbled. It made me cry thinking about how I had treated people. I didn't think about the feelings of these other people--but just my own selfish and vain reasons--basically it all boils down to pride. So now I'm striving to be Jesus to everyone that I come into contact with. Seriously. It's not going to be easy for me to talk to people I don't know---but hey--they're a person just like me, made by God. So why should I think I'm so much better than anyone else--because I'm really not that great.
I'm so thankful for what God is showing me and teaching me. He really is a great God. So merciful and forgiving. For that, I'm so grateful.
God is Good--ALL THE TIME! :)
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