blessings.

I found this quote in my journal from last year, just thought I'd share it with you and let it speak for itself.

"My friend, your places of greatest disappointment are your greatest opportunity to let Jesus live through you. In just such times, you will experience your greatest growth or worst failure. Trust Jesus to fill your heart with His pure, unconditional LOVE for others."

This quote struck a chord in my heart last year because of some trials I was going through. I was at a breaking point and wondering where my place was. What my purpose was. Why was I going through this same thing again and again? Love was not at the forefront of my mind and I had very little of it for others. I was self centered and focused only on my needs, wants, and desires. I had also lost sight of God's plan for me. I thought I was in control. Yet, I was powerless to make anything "good" happen. Sometimes when I read my past journal entries I become very sad. There were some very down times in my life. Times when no one knew that I was struggling. Times I felt very alone. I still have those moments, but God has been ever faithful to show me that He has always been with me...even during those times when I felt like no one cared. He has also blessed me with so many people in my life who I know do care about me. So then He can give me a little kick and reopen my eyes to all the many blessings in my life if I have those moments of doubt. I know I am not alone. I am human and will still have these moments of self-doubt, fear, and worry. But Jesus will never leave me, and He has given me such a wonderful group of people to encourage me and lift me up in times of need. I am so thankful for all of my friends! I love you all!

PS. I have a pretty amazing family too--love you ALL as well! :)

expect the unexpected.

You know that no one can predict the future. There are countless who have tried. Although it's easy to say that certain things in history repeat themselves, there are never two things that are exactly the same...there will always be differences. I've come to realize a lot here lately that there are a lot of unpredictable and unexpected things happening around me all the time. Somethings that have an affect on me and somethings that do not. There have been some really great unexpected things to happen that have allowed me to learn a whole lot about myself. I'm thankful for those experiences that have taught me very valuable life lessons.

God likes to show us more and more everyday how small we are and how big He is. He also likes to surprise us with things--as I've come to find--as well as placing people in our lives who will bring unexpected blessings as well as encouragement to our lives. I've also found that some people like to push us to go beyond ourselves and outside of our comfort zones. This has happened quite often in the past few months--and I've come to grow a lot through the broadening of my horizons. I also have the expectations of some future situations that will challenge me again--whether it be relationally or vocationally. So I must come to grips with and accept the challenge of expecting the unexpected. Because from my past experience, I know that God has great things for me. I just have to be prepared and willing to do what He wants me to do.

I just hope that I can discern His will very clearly. As I grow older, I have the greater urge to do things that are in His will. Sometimes we do things that may be outside of His will, but He has a way of drawing us back--and using those situations and circumstances to grow us and mold us into the people He would have us to be. It's not always easy. He never said that it would be...but He promised that He would always be with us to help us through. And if times get so tough--He will carry us through our hardest trials. I know this with certainty that He is a faithful God who will never leave us in our darkest hour. He is always there. All we have to do is call.

So, expect the unexpected. Embrace the future with hope. Know that God has great things in store, even if they are completely outside of your comfort zone and outside of "your plan". Remember, His plan is greater--and it's for our best!

"24"

time.

Time. Something I wish I had more of. Something I wish I could speed up. Something I wish I could go back in.

There are times I want to stretch out time when I'm enjoying life so much I don't want the goodness to end. There are times when life may not be so lovely and I just want to skip ahead to the good stuff. Sometimes I miss the old times, memories come flooding back and I want to return to that place of pure joy. Sometimes I want to go back and spend a little bit more time with that person who meant the world to me, and now they are no longer here. Sometimes I want to go back and change the way I reacted in a particular situation. Maybe if I could go back in time I wouldn't have all these regrets. Hmmm. If you really think about it, do you really want to go back in time and change things? Sometimes I really wrestle with this. There are things I wish I could say I've never done, but it's all about the growing up and learning process, right?! It's something I've been really thinking about a lot lately. Sometimes you get so caught up in the moments of your life that you do things you never thought you'd ever do. Sometimes you say things you didn't mean to say. I know I have lack of "common sense" moments--or I have an "out of body" experience...and then I spend my time regretting my past mistakes in those moments of "what the heck was a I doing?" Know what I mean?

Okay, so this post is a little random. Yes, I know it's not much info about what has transpired in the last few months of my life. But I don't feel the need to relive some of the past months of my life right now.

I just know that I've learned a whole lot. It seems as though so much has gone on in the past several months of my life, yet the time has flown by. Things can happen very quickly. Sometimes much too quickly. Maybe if I'd had more time and could slow down that time like a whole lot---then things wouldn't have been the way they were. But such is life. We all have the same amount of time in a day. 24 hours. It just doesn't always seem to be enough. But yet, we tend to waste it with mindless things and poor choices. I know I've wasted a whole lot of my time in general. Something I regret, but I cannot change the past. I can only learn from my mistakes and hope my future has fewer regrets. Life is also about living. Living is done by learning through our choices...whether good or bad. Then we must live with the consequences of our choices. It's a hard thing to grasp. Especially in my very finite mind. I am so small. I tend to only think about my own life and what is going on in my world around me which is oh so small and closed to a lot of the outside world. You can take this however you like...and maybe it somehow applies to you too. But this is just one of the many things that is going on in my head right now.

Time. You get out of it what you put into it. You lose it. You abuse it. You use it up. 24 hours, everyday. What are you doing with your time?

I know one thing--it's way to precious to waste. So start living. BUT live purposefully. It's not easy, but you'll feel better and a whole lot more fulfilled if you start really using your time so that it is not only beneficial to you, but to others as well. We were not created to live for ourselves, but for the One who created us. And He knows the number of our days, and how we live those days. So make it good. Make it worthy of the One who is breathing life into your lungs everyday.