shock to the system.

Warning:  The following post is going to reveal things in my heart. Reveal my imperfections.  Reveal that I don't have it all together.  Reveal that I am a sinner in need of a Savior.  Reveal that I need His saving...every. single. day.


As I took my dogs out this morning, I felt for their little paws as they had to walk on snow, ice, and through a huge puddle right in front of the door we go out.  Here my feet were covered with socks inside my boots, and they had to get a shock from the freezing cold elements.  I could almost relate to the shock and feel my own bare feet in the freezing cold water or on the ice and snow. In fact, I almost dared to put my bare feet into the cold water just to feel it.  Almost to take the shock like what my heart is feeling today.  God has really been working on me here lately.  Everything I hear, read, sing....it's so fitting with what's been going on in my heart and mind.  Battles I've been fighting for a very long time, and circumstances I've been facing have brought my heart to a broken and shocked state.  God has been trying to grab my attention.  Here I am trying to fight my battles on my own, only to fail every single time.  He was trying to show me how much He loves me and wants to fight my battles for me.  Because I can't win these battles alone. And I'm not suppose to fight alone.  So as I come to my knees in total surrender, lifting my hands to the only One who can help me overcome the things in my life that have created much hurt in my life, I give Him my battles, I hand over my struggles, I ask Him to forgive me for my unbelief, and ask Him to give me strength to live the life He's called me to live.  I can only say how thankful I am for His grace, mercy, and love.  I'm humbled. I'm ready for Him to really move me.  I'm daring to pray His will and take a leap of faith to see where He's going to lead.  I have no idea what will come, but I have confidence in the One who is Sovereign over all.  He is truly enough.  He can start putting back the broken parts of this creation of His.  As I read through Hebrews 11 yesterday about faith, I was shocked with my own lack of faith.  In this passage, there are  people whose stories we read about in the Bible who have faith that humbles me. The struggles of God's people and their faithfulness to Him even in difficult circumstances.  He blessed their lives and made them a blessing, even if in some circumstances they didn't get to see "the end result"...it lead to the day a baby was born in a stable.  A Savior. Their stories of redemption lead us to the ultimate redemption.  The redeeming blood that was shed by that baby who grew up to be a man who lived a sinless, perfect life.  The King who left His throne to come down to Earth.  The God who left His glory...to die for the people He created. To die for the people He loves.  The people who hated Him.  The people who rebelled against Him.  He came to die for all.  That we might have life.  And that our lives would be full.  But only through Him, and realizing our need for redemption can we be brought to that place where we can be set free.  The point where we are brought to life. A life grounded in Christ. 


So here's where I am.  Broken. Humbled. Thankful. I know my life will not get easy.  In fact, it may get more difficult.  But I want to stop living my life trying to be so independent.  I need to become dependent.  Dependent on Christ every day as I seek to live the life He has for me. So as I face every new day, I'm going to seek to begin my day giving Him those things I can't change.  Giving Him my fears. Giving Him my everything.  

I encourage anyone who may read this, if you're not already doing so, give your life completely to Him.  If you don't know Jesus as your Savior, please don't hesitate to reach out to me and I can tell you about what He's done for me and what He can do for you.  He will change your life. I can promise you that.  I will close out this post with the lyrics to one of the most powerful hymns I've heard and a favorite of mine. 

"Before The Throne of God Above"

Before the throne of God above

I have a strong and perfect plea.

A great high Priest whose Name is Love

Who ever lives and pleads for me.

My name is graven on His hands,

My name is written on His heart.

I know that while in Heaven He stands

No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair

And tells me of the guilt within,

Upward I look and see Him there

Who made an end of all my sin.

Because the sinless Savior died

My sinful soul is counted free.

For God the just is satisfied

To look on Him and pardon me.

Behold Him there the risen Lamb,

My perfect spotless righteousness,

The great unchangeable I AM,

The King of glory and of grace,

One in Himself I cannot die.

My soul is purchased by His blood,

My life is hid with Christ on high,

With Christ my Savior and my God!

work in progress list [2014 edition]

I have come to find that every year most of us tend to make resolutions about what we'd like to accomplish in the new year, only to fail at being faithful in seeing those resolutions to completion.  I know I've failed at many resolutions over my 27 years, and I've decided to not make resolutions anymore.  My "resolution" from last year was to try new things. I want to expand on that this year by being willing to try things that might intimidate or scare me.  I would like to get outside of my box and take a step out of my comfort zone.   This introvert does not plan on becoming an extrovert, but I want to be more willing to be "extroverted" or outgoing in new situations.  It's time I stop being scared in certain situations.  Anyways...here's my list for 2014. I guess it's a work in progress list to start in 2014. Here goes:

My work in progress list for 2014:

• Continue trying new things. 
• I started this in 2013.  I'd like to continue.  Even if it was baby steps and nothing major, I enjoyed doing some things I'd never done before.  
• Sticking to the goals I have set for myself. 
• Healthier habits I'd started in 2012 that fizzled out in Fall 2013.
• Be a better friend.
• Be more aware of the needs my friends have and trying to meet the ones that I'm able to.
• Have a better prayer life. 
• Being more intentional.  Habitual. Praying for family, friends, others, "enemies", my future husband.
• Be others focused. 
• Not focusing on my problems and myself all the time.
• Be more compassionate.
• Goes with the previous point. I have a hard time showing or feeling compassion for certain people.  I tend to limit my compassion to children.
• Don't be scared to talk to people I don't know or don't know well. 
• My introverted awkwardness comes out around certain people and in certain situations.  Getting over my fears and anxiety of putting myself out there and showing interest in other people. 
• Learn to be content where I am and trusting completely in God's plan for my life. 
• Being thankful for the fact that God has blessed me immensely, even though this is not where I wanted to be at this point in my life, He's got the perfect plan that is for my good.  I need to focus on this and be reminded of it every. single. day.
• Not focusing on the things that others have that I want to have. 
• Husband/babies to be specific.  God has a plan.  I have the desire to have these two things.  I want to be a wife and mom more than anything in the world, but I know that in God's perfect timing He will bring about the plans He has for me.  
• Practice more patience.
• With people.  In my job.  With my family.  With my friends.  With people who I find difficult to be around. With certain children. On the road.
• Practice more grace. 
• Ditto on the previous point. 
• Get outside of comfort zone.
• In trying new things and talking to people I don't know--doing something I wouldn't normally be comfortable doing. 
• Live with purpose.
• God has one for me.  I need to seek His will for my life and live for Him. Only Him and His purpose. 
• Not getting upset with myself for failing to do the previous things...
• I'm only human....so trying to do any of these things by myself, in my own power, I'm doomed to fail at every single thing.  So only in His strength can I seek to accomplish the things in this list and so much more than I could possibly imagine.  That's why I have a "theme song" for this year....no matter what may come this year...the truth in this song is powerful. 

So here's to 2014 and all it will bring. Make it a good and memorable one.