So, after a serious lack of luck in finding a job in the month or so I've been looking...and yes, I know what you are thinking...a month isn't that long...but let's just say I'm getting quite antsy. I've thought about different things I could pursue. Despite the fact that I'm nearly penniless, but thanks to my weekly babysitting job for the past 9ish weeks, I've been able to somewhat not be so stressed out or feel like I'm a total lazy loser. For real. I just wish there were more jobs out there waving at me saying..."I'm available and you're qualified!" That's only my imagination. So, maybe I could go back to what my dream jobs were growing up. Baby nurse. Negative. Teacher. negative. Basketball player. negative. Singer...hmmm? Maybe I could start a band? I know this is a very crazy dream, but I've always wanted to be a singer and be in a band. Why shouldn't I start one? Well maybe because I lack confidence in my singing abilities or the fact that I have no back up. I can barely play the guitar, so much for a band! But hey...a girl can still dream and wish...and pretend. But I could find some willing participants. I know there are gobs of starving musicians out there looking for a chance to be in a band. So, yeah. In. My. Dreams.
I just wish that something would come soon. After my three weeks stint of this babysitting job are over, I'm going to get back into being more proactive about the job search. Seeing as how, by that time, September will be right around the corner. Ew. September. Normally my favorite month seeing as how it brings my birthday and starts my favorite season of the year. I just love fall, and I use to love birthdays. But this year just signifies that I am thus growing older, and I am getting ever closer to 25, 30....jobless, healthcareless....single. I can deal with the single. Although, I won't pretend that I don't want to meet someone, and soon. The thought both excites and terrifies me. Just saying. I don't have experience in that department. The short stint in high school that lasted a total of 3 weeks....and the almost chance my sophie year of college. Thank God on both accounts it didn't work out. I have been saved from some heartache and potentially poor decisions. I'm still waiting on that one guy that God has for me. The one who will love me for me and be honest, trustworthy, caring, funny, and someone who will challenge me to be a better, stronger person. Someone who will encourage me in whatever I do. Someone I can live life with and have a family with. ---Just a few things I'm looking for.....not to mention I would like for him to be musically inclined and like dogs and be a family man. I don't think I know anyone right now that matches any of these things, but hey....I just never know. He could be right here in Clemmons. Ok, so enough of that. I do have my girly moments where I just wish my "knight in shining armor" would come to "sweep me off my feet". Yes, it might just have to be more like knocking me off my feet, literally. Because once he comes, I might not believe it. haha. Only knowing me.
Wow, I do tend to get off topic. That was clearly a huge tangent, but it's been on my heart....for a while. It tends to make itself known more whenever another person I know gets engaged or married. Or even when some close friends start dating someone seriously. It's all apart of life. I just need to be patient and wait for my turn. Though that is a very difficult thing to do. I think I spend too much time day-dreaming about it. Then dwelling on past "could have been(s)" and that only can open up old wounds and make my heart hurt...depending on the situation.
So back to the job thing...Thank God for the provision of babysitting jobs with Katherine and Kallie this summer. Those have given me more experience and great ways to keep myself busy and my mind off the fact that I'm still unemployed. I'm happy to be able to help out good friends with precious children. It just reminds me of how much I want to be a mom someday. :) So about that guy....
God knows.
He knows what job is going to be for me.
He knows which guy I'm going to meet, become best friends with--fall in love, get married....you know the deal.
He knows everything. I just have to learn how to be....PATIENT.
until next time[and as I'm learning to be patient]--peace and love.
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